Why do relationships FAIL ?

The question as to why do relationships fail? I personally am, not surprised that some relationships do fail. Failure is there in every walk of life and so also in relationships..

Man is a social being and he needs people around him most of the time in his life . So, it is necessary for him to have some kind of bonding with others. I feel that it is very difficult for a person to live all by oneself. One needs to cultivate relationships and maintain them


The question as to why do relationships fail? I personally am, not surprised that some relationships do fail. Failure is there in every walk of life and so also in relationships.

When a person is born he/she is already committed to some relationships by way of his/her birth. A child to his parents, grand child, brother/sister, nephew/niece. As a person goes through life it becomes sometimes a difficult task to do the balance act to maintain all of these relationships. Different circumstances and interactions play different roles in either strengthening or breaking down the relationships. In human society there are always changes and undercurrents , all of which affect a person and his inter personal relationships.

Brilliant relationships go sour between Parents and Children for the flimsiest of reasons. This ,after all the world hailing the Parent - Child relationship as the strongest there is ! Sibling rivalry has been an age old phenomenon, and with more prosperity and complicated life styles this relationship has taken a major hit. There have been numerous cases of sibling rivalry between the greats of the business world etc: Friendships too have not stood the test of time and we read accounts about how the best of friends have turned the worst of enemies for this or that reason !

The most accepted failed relationship is that of between Mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. If one were to carefully evaluate , one can easily pin point the causes too!. But in spite of all the analysis and brain raking , this is a relationship that is much maligned and accepted world over as one that is bound to fail !

Keep the Husband- Wife or the Man- Woman relationship for the very end , because, it is the most intense and complicated relationship. It is also the most difficult relationship to maintain. It is a pleasure to see couple enjoy each other's company in spite of being together for a number of years. But , there is a lot of effort put in by both the partners to maintain such cordial relationship over the years.

If we were to write down the various reasons for the failure of relationships , Personality clash ( Ego) and Money does play a very important factor, probably the most important role . When it is a question of one's Ego and as to who is better , there is bound to be a clash of personalities , and in my opinion, greater the ego of a person, greater is the damage to a relationship . Many couple move apart simply because they were not ready to accept their faults and make amends, as they felt they would be looked down by their partners and their apology would be taken as a sign of weakness !

Money is another factor that takes a great toll on relationships. If one of the partner is in control of the finances and if the other partner is made to realise the fact constantly , it somehow makes the relationship go sour ! Money is a touchy issue in most relationships. Many ladies go through a marriage without having any financial freedom, but when they are able to assert themselves at some stage they tend to move on , leaving their dominating partners behind!

There is a very wise saying that 'Speech of yourself ought to be seldom and well chosen - but clearly this remains largely in writing only! In most cases we are waiting to rave and rant at the slightest opportunity and go on and on about the misdeeds and shortcomings of the other person and the damage is done.

Words can make or mar relationships . To quote another wise saying ' Speech is power; speech is to convert, to persuade, to compel. It is to bring another out of his bad sense into good sense'.. Communication is a very powerful tool in relationships and this tool if , used wisely can help in enhancing relationships . The modern day life is full of pressures and stress. There are all kinds of pressures that makes a person very vulnerable and vary, this stress has a negative impact on a persons relationships.Many couple who have been together for 40 or 50 years and notice that most of them had a far simpler life with very limited stress other than the cares and worries, mostly related to children and family.

So it is all the more imperative that we work on a relationship for it to succeed. A good communication between partners will infinitely help to a great extent in easing tensions!

7 Common Reasons Relationships Fail

Failed relationships are one of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life. Working on successful relationships, whether they are with our children, parents, friends or partners, is one of the most important life skills we can learn. If we cannot maintain lasting relationships, we will always struggle to be happy.
This article looks at seven common reasons why once harmonious relationships break down. If we know why relationships are liable to break down we can avoid the pain involved.

Jealousy
It is ironic that we can easily become jealous of our closest friends. Jealousy often occurs when there is a feeling of separation and competition. We need to learn to be happy at the success of others; it only when we can feel a sense of oneness with others achievements that jealousy will remain far away.
Also, we need to trust our partner -  a suspicious mind is very poisonous. It is better to be trusting rather always suspecting infidelity or disloyalty. Others will be rightly discomforted if we mistrust them. If our partner lets us down, it is not our fault. But, if we suspect, because of our own insecurity, we are bound to create serious problems in our own relationships.

Attachment
There is a big difference between real love and emotional attachment. When we have emotional attachment to someone, we need their attention and presence. When we have excessive attachment to others, we can easily become jealous and demanding. Often attachment occurs out of a sense of insecurity; if this is the case we need to develop self belief and inner confidence, we can’t just rely on other people to provide that. Strong relationships need a certain detachment; we need to be able to accept others for what they are, rather than expecting them to give us all their attention.

Domination
Even the closest relationships need to value the individual freedom of others. Problems will inevitably occur when we seek to dominate others. Often this takes the form of expectation. We want our son to become a certain person; we want our wife to live in a certain way.
Often people don’t realize how dominating they are. Parents justify to themselves the idea that they ‘only want the best for their children’ But, actually what they are doing is trying to live through their children. Nobody has the right to tell someone how they must live. If relationships are based on this expectation and domination, there will inevitably be conflict at some stage. The strongest relationships are based on mutual understanding and remain free of expectation.

Selfishness
Selfishness is the root of all relationship problems. When we are selfish we think of ourselves first and foremost. We ignore the needs of others and become ego centric. Ego centric people are never easy to live with; they tend to be a drain on relationships. When we are selfish we want the praise, support and backing of others; but, we are not willing to give anything in return.
True love is selfless, it is given without expectation of receiving anything in return. If we love our self the most, we will always struggle with relationships. Take time to listen to others rather than dominating the conversation; be giving rather than being permanently needy.

No Time
We have to spend time on what we value. If we always  work late, it shows where our priorities lie. If we spend no time with our partner then they will begin to feel resentful / unloved. We can always make time for things we really value; make sure your relationships don’t suffer because you have given your life away to your boss. Also, make sure you create time when your partner is the focus of attention; do things that they enjoy doing, and don’t just drag them along to your office parties.

Too Much Time
It does depends on the personality of the people involved; but some people, especially introverts, need time to themselves. If we are always with other people, the relationship can become claustrophobic. We need time to ourselves; strong relationships should be able to deal with periods of separation. This allows individual expression and individual growth.

Picking Faults
Whoever we spend time with will undoubtedly have faults. Successful relationships require a certain tolerance of others’ weaknesses. If we keep picking up on the faults of over people, expecting them to change, we create permanent tension. For example, your partner or friend may not share your judgement that they are faults. This does not mean we have to ignore when others do wrong things.
A strong relationship should be able to cope with constructive criticism and suggestions. However, we need to make sure we don’t become obsessed with noticing bad things. Rather than remembering all the bad things your partner does, make yourself think of some of the good things that they have been doing. Unfortunately, humans often seem attracted to noticing the faults of others, but, it doesn’t help relationships to do this. If you become too critical it will cause long term problems.